Are you able to lie, even though you have Aspergers?

And like all humans, including the vast majority of autists, I do a lot of lying.

Cognitive dissonance is incredibly uncomfortable for me. If I don’t feel like I’m doing the right thing, it shows. The only times I can lie convincingly, verbally or physically, is when it feels morally and ethically correct to lie. While performing in a play, for example. Or while comforting people with dementia.

When I lie, I’m not very convincing. No one ever looked at my masking and thought, “Now, that’s a normal person! Why, I’d like to have a drink with that woman. She seems just like me.” Similarly, when I speak untruths, I doubt most believe me.

Have you ever seen your wife being fucked?

Less than I used to, sure. When I considered it an inviolable obligation to mask, I lied constantly. I didn’t often lie with my words, but I implied facts that were untrue with every breath and movement. I was too terrified of the abuse that might result if I didn’t. Telling the truth was too dangerous.

Yes.

Nuda Veritas by Gustav Klimt. Public domain.

I told my 13-year-old daughter that she should never start a fight, but has my permission to end it. She got suspended for ending a fight that some other girl picked with her by hitting her then retreating. How do I handle the school’s response?

Because these settings don’t produce dissonance, I can lie fairly convincingly in these settings. It’s my conscience and my commitment to my own ideals that holds me back.